Parents, Hug Your Children

During supper, as we were talking together, I asked my children about what is it that they like and dislike in us [in my wife and I]. When I questioned my eldest son Joy about what is it that he likes in me, he immediately responded with a smile, "Hugging."

I was surprised to hear his response. I didn’t realize that hugging means so much to him. Not only to him but also to my youngest son Joe. At times when I physically express my affection to my kids, like in the form of kissing or hugging or words, I ask them how they feel. They feel so good, secure and happy when I physically express my affection to them. I even gently embrace them together and pray for them.

Parents, I have learned that it is not enough to love our children in our hearts and provide what they need. Our children also need to constantly witness our affection for them demonstrated in actions. They take great delight in experiencing our affection expressed to them in tangible ways. And one of the best ways to give our children that feeling and conviction that we truly care for them is by the use of physical hugging.

Some parents practice hugging their children when they are small but stop doing that when they are grown up. Children need the experience of our tangible affection all their lifetime. I resolved not to stop kissing, hugging, and expressing words of affection to my children as long as I have breath.   

Furthermore, I believe—a little hug can remove many bugs. Some parents know only to criticize, correct and discipline their children but they do not practice expressing their affection through physical touch. This ruptures the parent-children relationship than building bridges. I have observed, learned and experienced that continuous physical expression of affection by parents may pave way for children to receive correction and discipline positively.

Believe me, hugging is powerful. It speaks volumes of affection for our children. It assures them a great sense of acceptance and security. Some children may not feel comfortable with kissing as they grow older but hugging is something that can still be practised at any age.

So important is meaningful hugging that the authors of The Blessing wrote, “The smallest act of touch can be a vehicle to communicating love and personal acceptance.” Charles R. Swindoll rightly expressed his disappointment, “Families, unfortunately, have stopped hugging and exhibiting a show of affection. We’re into a generation of touch-me-not families and I have many reasons to believe it’s unfortunate.”

Therefore, dear parents, I encourage you to start hugging your children. Express your affection to them. Your parents might not have done this to you. You may not even be used to doing this to your children until now. However, healthy habits are always good to embrace at any point in life. You will witness a great difference of influence upon your children if you cultivate this simple habit of hugging your children.

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Note: Here is a word of caution: I have observed some parents manifesting a lot of affection for one child and ignoring the other. I think it is quite painful for children to observe his/her sibling receiving physical affection while they themselves are ignored. This kind of partial expression of affection leaves a deep, indelible hurt in children who do not receive it. So I encourage parents not to show such partiality but manifest impartial affection towards all children.

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