Once I was speaking to a young woman who was excited about the prospect of getting married. After some interaction with her, getting to know something about her boyfriend, I finally asked her, “Where does he stay?” She said, “We live together.” I didn’t properly understand. When I asked her again, I realized that they are living together in the same house.
The things that were quite uncommon in the past are becoming most common today. Live-in relationship is one such, which is becoming an acceptable lifestyle, particularly in the urban societies. The Hollywood movies, even the rising Bollywood, are enough to testify regarding the commonness of live-relationship in our time.
There is an ongoing debate between the proponents of live-in relationship and traditional marriage. Amidst the confusing and conflicting voices on this issue, what does the Lord Jesus Christ has to say about it?
One day, Jesus was passing through Samaria. He approached a Samaritan village called Sychar. After walking miles and miles, he was worn out. Feeling tired, he sat down at the well.
At the same time, a Samaritan woman came to draw water from the well. It seems, she had a marred reputation among her people. However, Jesus loved the company of sinners for godly impact. In His conversation with her, He mentioned about the living water. He said,
Then Jesus wanted her to do something. He said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here”. She said, “I have no husband.” And Jesus spoke something about her secret life, which stunned her. He said, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” (John 4:16-18)
Observe the last part of the sentence, “the one you now have is not your husband.” In what relationship was this Samaritan woman? At that time, it was called an immoral relationship. Today, in our morally diluted culture, it is called, “Live-in relationship.”
Live-in relationship is a relationship in which a man and a woman live together and have active sexual life without formal marriage. Some even have children out of this relationship.
Some get into live-relationship so that they may avoid the mess of legal divorce. Some want to test each other whether they can get formally married by living together for a while. If the relationship does not work, they break up. All the sex they had was only a part of test.
And some hate the idea of formal marriage, which has various family responsibilities. So they just desire to live together as long as they can. They like having fun in life without responsibilities.
Whatever the reasons, the Lord Jesus has serious concerns about live-in relationship. He deliberately asked the Samaritan woman to get her husband, because He knew she was living with a man who is not her husband and that it is sin.
The things that were quite uncommon in the past are becoming most common today. Live-in relationship is one such, which is becoming an acceptable lifestyle, particularly in the urban societies. The Hollywood movies, even the rising Bollywood, are enough to testify regarding the commonness of live-relationship in our time.
There is an ongoing debate between the proponents of live-in relationship and traditional marriage. Amidst the confusing and conflicting voices on this issue, what does the Lord Jesus Christ has to say about it?
Jesus and Samaritan Woman
One day, Jesus was passing through Samaria. He approached a Samaritan village called Sychar. After walking miles and miles, he was worn out. Feeling tired, he sat down at the well.
At the same time, a Samaritan woman came to draw water from the well. It seems, she had a marred reputation among her people. However, Jesus loved the company of sinners for godly impact. In His conversation with her, He mentioned about the living water. He said,
“Everyone who drinks of this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again. The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life” (John 4:13-14).The Samaritan woman was intrigued to hear about the living water that Jesus offered to her. The living water that the Lord mentioned is the eternal life. Still thinking of it only as a physical benefit, not wanting to lose this opportunity, she immediately asked Jesus to give her the living water.
Then Jesus wanted her to do something. He said to her, “Go, call your husband, and come here”. She said, “I have no husband.” And Jesus spoke something about her secret life, which stunned her. He said, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.” (John 4:16-18)
Observe the last part of the sentence, “the one you now have is not your husband.” In what relationship was this Samaritan woman? At that time, it was called an immoral relationship. Today, in our morally diluted culture, it is called, “Live-in relationship.”
Live-in Relationship
Live-in relationship is a relationship in which a man and a woman live together and have active sexual life without formal marriage. Some even have children out of this relationship.
Some get into live-relationship so that they may avoid the mess of legal divorce. Some want to test each other whether they can get formally married by living together for a while. If the relationship does not work, they break up. All the sex they had was only a part of test.
And some hate the idea of formal marriage, which has various family responsibilities. So they just desire to live together as long as they can. They like having fun in life without responsibilities.
Whatever the reasons, the Lord Jesus has serious concerns about live-in relationship. He deliberately asked the Samaritan woman to get her husband, because He knew she was living with a man who is not her husband and that it is sin.
By revealing her secret life, what we call live-in relationship, the Lord Jesus wanted her to know, without condemning her, “If you want the living water, the eternal life, you need to be up-front about your live-in relationship.”
Because it was an obstacle for her to receive the eternal life, the Lord Jesus gently brought up before her the sin of live-in relationship.
How many are far from eternal life because of their indulgence in live-in relationship! They are blinded of the fact that their present pleasurable relationship will soon end up in inescapable pain.
Sex Apart from Marriage is Sin
According to the Holy Scripture, living together and sharing sexual life apart from marriage is sin against God. Sex is God’s gift to mankind, which is to be enjoyed only in the boundary of marriage.
Marriage is a God-ordained relationship, which comes into existence in a couple by making a covenant between each other. This covenant is made to live together permanently by loving one another and by being faithful to each other.
But many modern couples are afraid of such permanent covenant. They deliberately ignore the standards of God and get into live-in relationship. And some try to convince themselves saying, “We may anyhow get married. So, what’s the problem in having sex before marriage?”
But God does have problem. Since He created man and woman as moral beings, as sex is a gift from Him to mankind, He has every right to say how to use it and how not to abuse it.
The Lord has clearly stated in His word that sex between man and man, between woman and woman, between unmarried man and unmarried woman, between married person and another person who is not one's own marriage partner—all these are sin against Him. (Rom. 1:26-27; Heb. 13:4)
Listen to what the Scripture says, “Because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). In other words, “Because of the temptation to have sex apart from marriage, which is sin and immoral, each man and each woman should get married and have sex with their own spouse.”
Also, in Hebrews 13:4, it is written, “Let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Observe, it does not say, “Let the sexual bed be undefiled.” It says, “Let the marriage bed be undefiled.”
Marriage bed is a figurative language, which means, sexual intercourse within marriage. Having sexual intercourse either apart from marriage or outside of marriage defiles the marital relationship. Sexual intercourse is meant to be enjoyed only between husband and wife within marriage.
Those who abuse sexual intercourse are called sexually immoral and adulterous. Sexually immoral is a person who has sex with someone who is not a lawful spouse. And adulterous is a married person who has sex with someone who is not his or her marriage partner.
Sadly, the Holy Scripture asserts that God will judge them. Although many have no fear of God, much less are cautioned by God's judgment, the time will when they have to give an account to the Living God of all their immoral activities.
Final Words
Dear readers, if you are in a live-in relationship, may I let you know that it is sin which leads to eternal death. It even destroys your current relationship and your bright future. But Jesus had paid the price for your sin by laying His life on the cross. If only you repent of your sin, God is gracious to forgive your sin and gives you a new beginning.
Regarding your live-in relationship, you either flee from it or immediately get married to your partner. Do not choose to run your life by your own standards only to destroy the wonderful life God has given you.
Like the Samaritan woman, face the fact of your immoral or live-in relationship and find forgiveness and new beginning in Christ Jesus.
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cstephendavid@gmail.com (or) messageforourage@gmail.com
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