Saturday, June 16, 2012

Can Married Couples Watch Pornography Together? [Part 1]

One day my wife and I happened to visit a married couple. As I was discussing about marital issues with them, the woman candidly asked me a question—“Is it okay for my husband and me to watch pornography together? Someone known to me suggested it is sexually healthy for a couple to watch porn together.”

There are many misleading voices these days, saying—“Watching porn together is one of the best ways a couple can connect.” “Watching porn together strengthens your sexual relationship.” “Watching porn together adds fuel into your dry marriage.” I have even found an article entitled, “Couples who watch porn together stay together.”

According to a debate on Times of on whether couples are okay with watching porn together, 53 pct felt that it was perfectly natural, while 43 pct held it to be morally degrading. If this is the perspective in a more conservative and traditional nation like India, which is now becoming more liberal in moral issues, I can imagine the vote for couples watching porn together would be even higher in the West.

Although many may voice against watching pornography alone for personal pleasure, there are numerous people assuming that it is good to watch porn as a couple. They suppose it boosts their sexual life in marriage, but without discerning its side effects.

According to God’s word, I strongly believe it is wrong, even sinful, for a married couple, or anyone for that matter, to watch pornography. It is detrimental to one’s personal and marital life.

Want reasons? Here they are:

1) It is a shameful thing to watch the nakedness of a person other than your spouse.

When Adam and Eve were created by God, they were naked all the time and felt no shame (Gen. 2:25). But after they sinned against God, they realized their nakedness and felt shameful (Gen. 3:7). Since then, man and woman have become sinful and their hearts corrupted. Their eyes have fallen short of viewing nakedness with sanctity. For this reason, we cover our body with clothes, not only to protect it from cold, heat and dust, but also from sinful eyes which craves to feed on nakedness.

The only time a man and woman lose their shame when they look at the nakedness of each other is during sexual activity. Apart from the act of sex, even husband and wife would be ashamed before each other to live always naked in the house. (Of course, there are exceptions in the case of nudists who are weird folks in society)

Sex (during which a man and woman relish the naked bodies of each other) is God’s gift to mankind, which is to be enjoyed within the boundary of marriage, both for the purpose of reproduction and mutual pleasure. Outside of marriage, whether to think, view and participate in sex is biblically called “sexual immorality” or “immoral use of sex”.

Although this is a figurative language expressing the backslidden state of God’s people, see how it is a shameful thing to expose one’s nakedness, “When she [Jerusalem] carried on her prostitution openly and exposed her nakedness, I [the Lord] turned away from her in disgust, just as I had turned away from her sister [Samaria]” (Eze. 23:18). Look at the judgment prophesied by Habbakuk, "Woe to him who gives drink to his neighbors, pouring it from the wineskin till they are drunk, so that he can gaze on their naked bodies” (2:15). 

What do these Scriptures speak? The loving God detests deliberate exposure of nakedness before others, particularly with sensual intent and evoking sensual feelings inappropriately. If exposing one’s nakedness sensually is sinful, is it not sinful too to sensually watch the nakedness of other people? Is not pornography a lustful gaze at other people's nakedness?

However, when it comes to marriage, it is plainly written, “The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife” (1 Cor. 7:4). In marriage, the Holy Bible says it is good to give each other their bodies for mutual pleasure. It is wrong, in fact, for a married couple not to offer each other their bodies for sex, except by mutual consent, for Satan will tempt them to sin outside of marriage because of their lack of self-control (7:5).

Therefore, since a person’s body and the enjoyment of its nakedness belong to one’s own spouse, don’t you suppose it is a shameful and sinful thing to watch the naked body of another person who is not your wife or your husband for sexual stimulation, whether watching it alone or with your spouse?

Remember, nakedness, which is cherished during the act of sex, is a private property of one’s spouse, not a public exposure to all. [continued next page...] |  1 of 3

1 comment:

  1. The same questions was asked by one of coworkers to me and I resoundingly told NO! Instead I suggested to read some good christian books (like Tim Layhae, Hebert Miller ? etc based on Bible alone. Still I am not clear whether these books can use drawings or graphics. However it will be shame to see other's nudity whether man or woman. Unfortunately we so called conservative people go to other extreme and keep mum many couples find it difficult to express their genuine doubts. In many cases reason for problems in the families are problems in the bedroom. Whenever I talk on this subjects people always welcome since they had not known where to go for the answers.(In fact i am asked to preach on this subject in Tamilnadu next year God willing in Baptist church. Thanks for your biblical boldness. But I am little astounded when a sister asked this question openly! Thanks for publishing.