Proverb of the World and Proverbs of the Word

These days a lot of emphasis is laid on the importance of appreciation by the secular world. I call it a 'proverb of the world'. It states, “Don’t be negative.” “Don’t be judgmental.” “Be positive.” “Appreciate others.”

Yes, I do believe that appreciation is wonderful. We must practice appreciation when it is necessary as it is a great means of encouragement.

What saddens me is that the world is addicted to appreciation and resistant to correction. This tendency has greatly influenced the mindset and attitudes of Christians too. Since the beginning of the exodus of Israelites, what we observe is that God’s people are more prone to the influence of the culture rather than to the command of God’s Word.

Loving Appreciation and Despising Correction

I fear to see how people in churches love appreciation and despise correction. When they are corrected, their face falls down, their emotions are disturbed, and their reactions are either wild or bitterly suppressed.

How seldom do we find people responding to correction, saying, “Thank you for your correction. It helps me to become a better Christian. Please continue to help me become more like Christ.” Such words can only be uttered by a wise person who deeply reveres God and His Word.

No matter how the talk of people and their Christian walk is, like the world, churches want to be just in the business of appreciation. They don’t want to offend one another, even if it is for good. They love to please each other through appreciation. They are reluctant both to receive and to give correction.

Proverbs of the Word

When I turn to the Proverbs of the Word, I don’t find much about the importance of “appreciation”. I find it only once where a godly woman is praised (Pro. 31:28, 30). The emphasis of the book of Proverbs is on “correction” (reproof, rebuke).

The words “reproof” and “rebuke” (correction) are used 20 times in the book of Proverbs. There could be more. And when the book of Proverbs speaks about correction, its attention is more on receiving correction rather than on giving it.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that appreciation is wrong. Although we don’t find about it in Proverbs, there are other parts of the Scripture which speak of it a bit.

As mentioned earlier, I believe in appreciation. It is a great encouraging tool. It is one of the love languages of people. We all love appreciation. Sometimes it rightly encourages us and at other times it pampers our ‘self’. Interestingly, correction is not the love language of anyone. It appears to be the hate language of people.

Proverbs on Correction

If we love God and His Word, we must be people who love correction. Look at the following few Scriptures from Proverbs which speaks about the importance of correction. The words commonly used for “correction” are “reproof” and “rebuke.”

• Wisdom says, “If you turn at my reproof , behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you.” (Proverbs 1:23, ESV)


• “My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.” (Proverbs 3:11-12, ESV)


• “Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.” (Proverbs 10:17, ESV)


• “Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid.” (Proverbs 12:1, ESV)


• “A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.” (Proverbs 13:1, ESV)


• “Poverty and disgrace come to him who ignores instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is honored.” (Proverbs 13:18, ESV)


• “A fool despises his father's instruction, but whoever heeds reproof is prudent.” (Proverbs 15:3, ESV)


• “There is severe discipline for him who forsakes the way; whoever hates reproof will die.” (Proverbs 15:10, ESV)


• “The ear that listens to life-giving reproof will dwell among the wise. Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence.” (Proverbs 15:31-32, ESV)


• “Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” (Proverbs 27:5, ESV)


• “He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.” (Proverbs 29:1, ESV)

Moreover, observe the very purpose of God-breathed Scripture: “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16, ESV) Even God's Word is given for the purpose of reproof and rebuke. It is not given for appreciation but for correction.

Correction Shapes Character

Honestly, in my many years of Christian life, I have learned so much more through correction rather than through appreciation. Whatever growth people see in me, much of the growth is the result of correction. The day that I stop taking correction, my growth halts and I become stagnant and dead.

Recently, I have taken initiation and asked a brother to correct me if he had observed any flaws in my character. What he corrected in me has led to a radical change in my life and ministry. I am forever thankful to him. How true are these words, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses!” (Proverbs 27:6, ESV) Well, there were times where I resisted correction to my own loss of character.

Never forget that appreciation encourages us, but correction shapes our character. Appreciation makes us feel good about ourselves but correction helps us to grow well towards maturity. We indeed need appreciation, but more than that what we need is correction. He who loves appreciation and hates correction desires destruction of his character, perhaps even of his soul.

Cultivate the Love Language of Correction

Correction may not be the love language of the worldly people, but it must certainly be the love language of godly people because the book of Proverbs speaks so much of its benefits. Christians must resist being like the world and become the light of the world. They must cultivate a humble heart of receiving correction. According to God’s Word, only a fool hates correction.

Agreed, it is painful to receive correction. It hurts our ‘ego’. But, as followers of Christ, are we not called to deny ourselves and to follow the right path to change?

Note: When we give correction, we must do it with love and kindness. And when firmness is required in correction, it must be exercised with concern and without being harsh. Having said this, I must exhort that we must be more passionate and humble in receiving correction rather than giving correction. How we humbly receive correction encourages others to appropriately respond to correction.

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Ten Significant Lessons From Deuteronomy 8:2 - [Part Two]

 IF YOU HAVEN'T READ PART ONE, CLICK HERE TO READ..... 

Lesson Six

THE GOD WHO TESTS

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, TESTING YOU TO KNOW WHAT WAS IN YOUR HEART, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

The God of the Bible is a God who tests our faith and obedience. The Scripture in Deuteronomy 8:2 clearly reveals that God tests the hearts of His people in the furnace of affliction. Let me share few more Scriptures with you.

Genesis 22:1-2 records - After these things God TESTED Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”

The psalmist acknowledged, "For you, O God, have TESTED us; you have tried us as silver is tried" (Ps. 66:10).

In his parable of the sower, the Lord Jesus explains a superficial conversion in this way, "And the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear the word, receive it with joy. But these have no root; they believe for a while, and in time of TESTING fall away" (Luke 8:13).

Peter comforted the afflicted believers, "In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the TESTED genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ" (1 Peter 1:6-7).

Similarly, James wrote to the believers under trials, "Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the TESTING of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing" (Jas. 1:1-4).

Dear readers, God is not simply flattered by our words and passion. He tests our heart and sincerity. When we are devoted to Him in times of testing and not fall away from our faith and obedience to Him, God would be greatly pleased and takes great delight in us.

Does God find our faith and obedience to be genuine when He tests us?

One may wonder, "When God knows all things, why should He test us to know our heart?" The next lesson answers this question.

Lesson Seven
DOES GOD KNOW ALL THINGS?

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, TESTING YOU TO KNOW WHAT WAS IN YOUR HEART, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

One of the majestic attributes of God is His omniscience, meaning, He knows all things. David specifically stated, "Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O LORD, you know it altogether" (Ps. 139:4).

So when God knows all things, why should He test to know what's in the heart?

Some try to justify this by saying that God wants us to know our own heart. If that's the case, the Scripture would say God tested your heart to expose it to yourself. But the Scripture says God tested to know what's in your heart. I think God knew the grammar well when He inspired His authors:-)

Words fall short to describe the mysterious works of God. For our understanding, let me use the words "intellectual knowledge" and "experiential knowledge".

God in His intellectual knowledge knows all things. He is ignorant of nothing. All eternity is laid bare before His infinite mind. However, when the Scripture says God tested to know what's in your heart, it means, He desired to know by experience, bringing into reality what's in the heart.

Moreover, when Abraham proved himself faithful by obeying God, the angel of God said, "NOW I KNOW that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me" (Gen. 22:12).

Doesn't God know beforehand that Abraham feared Him? He did. But He knew by experience that Abraham feared God when in reality he was willing to offer his son Isaac on the altar for the Lord's sake.

The word "know" in these contexts speaks about God's experiential knowledge. God knows all things, but He also wants to experience the things He knows by bringing them into reality.

Lesson Eight

WHERE GOD GUIDES HE PROVIDES

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD YOUR GOD HAS LED YOU THESE FORTY YEARS IN THE WILDERNESS, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

The Scripture not only speaks about God leading His people in the wilderness, but it also reveals of God's providence in the wilderness.

Verse 3 shows that God provided them with manna. Verse 4 tells that their clothes did not wear out on them and their foot did not swell those forty years. Verse 15 reminds how God protected them from predators and provided them water from the rock. Above all, the Lord's glorious presence was with them.

What do we learn from this Scripture?

God not only takes us through suffering, but also sustains us in it. He will not let us suffer alone in difficulties. He will not leave us nor forsake us. He will be with us and provides our every need to remain strong and to walk victoriously in the wilderness.

The famous Psalm 23 of David affirms God's presence and providence in our troubles, "Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me" (v.4).

Paul also encourages, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it" (1 Cor. 10:13).

Therefore, let us not lose heart in our journey in the wilderness. Let us not give ourselves to unbelief and bitterness. God is with us. He is good and faithful. Where He guides, He also provides. Hallelujah!

Lesson Nine

LED TO LEAD

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the LORD YOUR GOD HAS LED YOU these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

How did the Lord lead the Israelites in the wilderness for forty years? We know that Moses was God's chosen leader to lead His people. Psalm 77:20 says, "You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron."

Interestingly, before leading the Israelites in the wilderness for forty years, Moses himself was in the wilderness for forty years.

When he was forty years old, Moses wanted to save his people, supposing God was giving them salvation by his hand (Acts 7:25). But he wasn't ready yet. After killing the Egyptian, he fled to Midian and lived in its wilderness.

Then after forty years, the Lord visited Moses and used him to deliver His people from the bondage of Egypt and led them through the wilderness to humble them for forty years. (Acts 7:30; Deut. 8:2)

What principle do we learn from Moses' life?

Before leading others in His ways, God leads us and teaches us His ways. Before humbling others, God humbles us. Before breaking others, God breaks us. We are not ready for ministering to others unless we are first ministered by God.

God will not bypass us (ignoring to humble us) and use us to humble others. Remember, He will not work THROUGH us unless He first works IN us. Those who are well trained in the wilderness would lead others well in the wilderness.

Charles H. Spurgeon rightly said, "The Lord gets His best soldiers out of the highlands of affliction."

Lesson Ten

REMEMBER, REMEMBER, REMEMBER

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And YOU SHALL REMEMBER the whole way that the LORD your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

We are in the final, tenth lesson from this Scripture.

Moses commanded the Israelites to remember how the Lord had set them free from the tormenting bondage of Egypt and led them in the wilderness for forty years to teach them humility.

The word "remember" means "don't forget" or "keep in mind". This doesn't just speak about intellectually storing the things in mind, but also taking the things God has taught seriously to heart and be diligent in following them.

Regretfully, the Israelites forgot God's lessons and discipline after their entrance into the Promised Land. After sufficient exhortation and warning through His prophets, the Lord had to send them on exile in their enemy’s territory and again teach them humility.

What do we learn from the failure of Israel?

The Lord's ways, His teachings and His discipline are precious and good for us. We must remember them and be diligent in living accordingly by the divine power He has given us. We should not allow negligence or casual attitude to creep and grow in us.

It is good for us to deeply value the lessons God teaches and be careful in following them. When we humbly walk with God, He will take us from glory to glory. Nevertheless, we sinful people often forget God's work of humility in us and slip into complacency and arrogance.

Now, here is the point - if we forget God's works and ways which He teaches in the wilderness to humble us, we may have to go back to the wilderness to start all over again the lessons of humility.

Prayer

"Heavenly Father, how good and gracious You are towards us. You are the God who loves us and desires to mold us into Your likeness. We learn that unless we become humble, we would never reflect Your character and glory. So Lord, break us, melt us, and mold us, through whatever means, to become humble vessels. May we decrease, and Your Name be exalted forever and ever. In Jesus Name. Amen."

 CLICK HERE TO READ PART ONE 

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Ten Significant Lessons From Deuteronomy 8:2 - [Part One]

Note: This article is divided into two parts. It would be helpful to the readers to study this material in its entirety in order to gain comprehensive understanding of God's wonderful lessons for His children from Deuteronomy 8:2.

Lesson One

GOD'S PASSION FOR OUR HUMILITY

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, THAT HE MIGHT HUMBLE YOU, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

After delivering the Israelites from the bondage of Egypt, one important attitude God wanted to cultivate in these people was ‘humility’.

God’s passion is the same even for those who are delivered from the bondage of sin and have believed in the Lord Jesus Christ. He desires to teach us humility and to keep us humble.

Why is God passionate to humble us? It is because by nature we are arrogant.

Although we appear to each other polite and good, the fact is, we are full of pride within. We are born in pride and have grown in pride. Pride is our inherent nature.

Pride does not disappear after our belief in the Lord Jesus Christ. Indeed, it becomes even more evident in our hearts. So God's passion is to break us and keep us humble. He does so by allowing difficult circumstances and difficult people into our lives, which could be called ‘wilderness experience’.

O, we cannot be Christ's followers and yet cherish and nourish pride in us! God cannot let that happen. He loves us so much that He will not let pride ruin us. He is passionate to see us walk in humility, which is a blessed calling of His beloved children.

The Lord spoke in His Word, “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and TO WALK HUMBLY WITH YOUR GOD.” (Mic. 6:8)

Therefore, in view of God's love and our depraved nature, let us humbly submit to our Lord's rod of discipline. Let Him mold us as humble vessels on the wheel of affliction. Let us become humble followers of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Lesson Two

BLESSINGS WITHOUT HUMILITY IS A CURSE

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, THAT HE MIGHT HUMBLE YOU, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

The Living God earnestly desired to give the Promised Land to the people of Israel. However, He wanted to teach His people humility before fulfilling His promise. And He took them through the wilderness journey for forty years.

The reason God took the Israelites through the wilderness is not to make their lives miserable; He did this to teach them humility. The purpose of suffering is not to make our lives miserable; it is to make us humble.

Why?

Blessings without humility would do more damage than good. Blessings without humility would take us away from God. Blessings without humility makes us arrogant in our relationship with others. Blessings without humility makes us more self-centered. Blessings without humility is a curse.

Sadly, even in these forty years, many Israelites did not learn humility and perished in the wilderness. They wanted just blessings, not humility.

We all want blessings. We love to be blessed. But humility is our greater need than blessings. God is more concerned about our character than about our comforts.

Therefore, let us pray more for humility. Let us seek humility. Let us walk in humility.

Lesson Three

MARK OF HUMILITY

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, THAT HE MIGHT HUMBLE YOU, testing you to know what was in your heart, WHETHER YOU WOULD KEEP HIS COMMANDMENTS OR NOT."

We have learned that God took the Israelites through the wilderness for forty years in order to teach them humility. But what is humility? What happens when a person is humbled? What is the mark of humility?

The Scripture says that God humbled the people of Israel through the wilderness experience to know whether they would keep His commandments or not.

Humility isn’t essentially about simple appearance, tender conduct, and polite conversation. All these can be faked externally, although internally we are full of pride.

Humility is fundamentally OBEDIENCE TO GOD'S WORD. A humble person is willing to obey God at any cost, honestly admit his sins and weaknesses, live a transparent life, submit himself to the exhortation and admonition by others, and make every effort to glorify God through his obedience to His Word.

Inevitably, this humility is tested in the wilderness. We know how some seemingly soft persons possess a hardened heart. When situations become difficult, they manifest wild behaviour and despise to obey God's Word. It is in the wilderness that their true nature is exposed.

Let us, therefore, prove to be faithfully humble in the wilderness. Let us not manifest stiff-necked attitude in difficulties. Let us fear God and obey His Word at all times, for this is the mark of true humility.

Lesson Four

DOES GOD TAKE US THROUGH DIFFICULTIES?

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that THE LORD YOUR GOD HAS LED YOU THESE FORTY YEARS IN THE WILDERNESS, that he might humble you, testing you to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

Many suppose that God is so loving that He will not take us through difficulties, and any suffering that we face is from the devil. This is a grave misconception.

The Scripture clearly says that it is the Lord who took the Israelites through the wilderness for forty years. It is not the devil, even Moses. It is the loving God.

Even in the context of Job's suffering, we must know that it is God who gave permission to the devil to take him through the fiery trials. It is God who was in control over Job's life, not the devil.

Some may question, “Why does the loving God take His children through suffering?”

We think, if God is loving, He must always make and keep our lives comfortable. But God thinks that if He is loving, He must develop our character and teach us steadfast obedience. And our character is shaped in suffering. It is written, "Suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character" (Rom. 5:3-4).

There are infinite comforts and pleasures in heaven which we will enjoy eternally. But, here on earth, God is focused on cultivating godly character in us by taking us through difficulties. For this reason, the Scripture encourages:

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" (Jas. 1:2-4).

Lesson Five

ADVERSITY EXPOSES REALITY

Deuteronomy 8:2, "And you shall remember the whole way that the Lord your God has led you these forty years in the wilderness, that he might humble you, TESTING YOU TO KNOW WHAT WAS IN YOUR HEART, whether you would keep his commandments or not."

When Moses told the people all that the Lord had commanded, all the Israelites responded together, "All that the Lord has spoken we will do" (Exo. 19:8).

Did these people really do all that the Lord had commanded? Did they keep their word? Did their talk reflect their walk?

We know they failed in following the Lord. The wilderness journey proved that they only paid lip service to the Lord's commandments.

The Scripture clearly says that the Lord had taken His people through the wilderness to test their obedience. Adversity exposes reality.

Thomas A Kempis said it right, "Adversity does not make us weak; it only shows how weak we are." How true!

Many of us are good at great talk and enthusiastic passion, but it is in suffering that our true commitment to the Lord is manifested.

When Job faced immense suffering (our suffering may not come anywhere close in comparison), the Scripture declares, "In all this, Job did not sin or charge God with wrong." (Job 1:22. cf. 2:10)

However, considering the trials of Israel in the wilderness, in all their suffering, they grumbled and sinned against God.

When we go through suffering, do we reflect the attitude of Job or the people of Israel in the wilderness? Does adversity prove us to be faithful or unfaithful disciples?  CLICK HERE TO READ PART TWO 

How Does God Teach Us Humility?

Centuries of years ago, there lived a great king. His kingdom was prosperous. He became a strong conqueror and his name was renowned all over the world. But, as you may know, there is one evil which always tarries and lingers over the top. Whenever a man rises to greatness, there is often an itch to scratch one’s majesty. Pride follows greatness and precedes fall.

One day as this king walked on the roof of his royal palace, looking at his kingdom, he bragged, "Is not this the great Babylon I have built as the royal residence, by my mighty power and for the glory of my majesty?" As soon as he entertained pride, "he was driven away from people and ate grass like cattle. His body was drenched with the dew of heaven until his hair grew like the feathers of an eagle and his nails like the claws of a bird."

At the end of that time, as it was prophesized, the king was humbled by afflictions, realizing and acknowledging the King of heaven, who alone is worthy to be praised and glorified. Eventually giving glory to God, the king said, “Those who walk in pride He is able to humble.”

This is a humbling story of King Nebuchadnezzar recorded in Daniel 4:1-37. 

God’s Chiseling Tools

Don't we have a great lesson to learn from the foolishness of King Nebuchadnezzar? We all are inhabited by pride and conceit. If anyone has doubts about this, isn’t this itself a great evidence of the resident pride which blinded our eyes?

How did God humble King Nebuchadnezzar? God taught humility by taking him through humiliation. He taught him meekness by taking him through weakness. He taught him lowliness of spirit by taking him through distressful situations.

There is something worth observing here—God did not directly produce humility in King Nebuchadnezzar’s heart. He took him through sorrow and pain through which He humbled the king before His majesty.

Did you ever pray to God to keep you humble and meek? We expect God to answer our prayer for humility by directly conforming our attitude to meekness. But this is not how God generally works in us.

Do you want to know the chiseling tools God uses to carve humility within us? Here they are—insults, humiliation, offense, rejection, mistreatment, accusation, injustice, pain, oppression, failure…etc. These are the tools God uses in the workshop of conforming people to meekness.

God’s Ways of Teaching Humility

How often have we prayed to God to humble us but abruptly and vehemently reacted to some difficult person or to some troubling situation which may be God’s messengers to answer our prayer to teach us humility!

To produce this great virtue of humility, God often takes us through great afflictions. He lets hardened people to give us hard times. He permits despairing situations. Recalling God’s good work in humbling his heart, C.H. Spurgeon writes:

I am always very grateful for the rough treatment I received in my earlier days from all sorts of people. The moment I did any good thing at all, they were at me like a pack of hounds. I did not have time to sit down and boast of what I had done, for they were raving and roaring at me continually. If I had been picked up all of a sudden and placed where I am now, it is likely that I would have gone down again just as quickly. (The Soul Winner, pg. 49)

O, many of us are still disfigured in Christian character because of our resistance to God’s tools in shaping us into a man and woman He wants us to be! I am convicted of manifesting such foolish and obstinate behavior many times. But those who persevere under adversity are beautifully carved out by the Holy Spirit, wonderfully reflecting God’s sublime virtues.

No Adversity, No Humility

If we want to be humble in life, may we heed well the counsel of Andrew Murray:

Place yourself before God in your utter helplessness. Consent heartily to the fact of your weakness to slay or make yourself alive. Sink down into your own nothingness, in the spirit of meek and patient and trustful surrender to God. Accept every humiliation, look upon every fellow-man who tries or vexes you, as a means of grace to humble you. Use every opportunity of humbling yourself before your fellow-men as a help to remain humble before God. (Humility, pg. 76)

Remember, God does not bypass adversity to produce humility within us. We have to let ourself to be deeply hurt if we expect God to produce deep humility in us. No one can learn humility if he is reluctant to face adversity.

All those who have attempted to bypass God’s ways of learning humility and hurriedly climbed over the top through self-effort—they had to learn hard lessons after the fall. Better to learn before the climb than to learn after the fall.

Let us allow God to thoroughly refine us in the flames of affliction and humiliation, for we would not only shine brightly in His virtues but may also remain humble in them as we progress in life. Glory be to the Most High God who is able to humble us, the proud!

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Power of Apology

Every Wednesday evening I meet with young brothers for discipleship at my home. Recently, after having our discipleship meeting, my wife went into our children’s room to check on them. To her astonishment, she observed our eldest son, Joy, filled with tears in his eyes. She inquired the reason for his tears. He didn’t open up.

After some gentle persuasion, he said he cried because his younger brother, Joe, hit him. He couldn’t say anything further. But my wife was not convinced because she felt he was not honestly sharing his feelings.

Without giving up, as my wife further inquired, he eventually opened up saying, “Mummy, after Joe hit me, he so sweetly apologized for hitting me that it made me to cry.”

Joy (8 yrs) wept not because he was hit by Joe (6 yrs) but because of Joe’s sweet apology.

What power lies in apology! A kid is moved to tears by an apology. Not only so, even a tough guy may be broken by an apology. Famed boxer Muhammad Ali said, “If you ever dream of beating me you better wake up and apologize.”

Well, we all know—asking apology is not as easy as committing offense. It appears to break our heart more than we broke the heart of offended ones. It seems to be self-humiliating, degrading oneself before others.

But this is what I have indeed observed—great honor is reserved for a person who apologizes for his mistakes than for the one who justifies himself or silently ignores his blunders.

Asking Apology is Saintly

“To err is human” is a famous maxim, but do we hear “to ask apology is human”? We know the latter is unpopular. We humans are known for committing mistakes, not for asking apologies. I think if to err is human and to forgive is divine then to ask apology is saintly. 

Are we working on becoming better humans?

I have learned to often encourage others with these words—if you want to become better men, make it your habit to sincerely say two things—Thank You and I am Sorry. The former is perhaps easy to say but how difficult it is to admit the latter!

Much of the problems that exist in interpersonal relationships are not because of some conflicts or offense, for as sinful beings we cannot evade them. They exist because of lack of apology.

Where there are conflicts and offense but no apology, there is for sure an end to intimate relationship. Apology is dynamite which could break the wall of barriers in relationships.

How many broken relationships can be restored just with humble apology! What tremendous healing it brings to broken hearts! How years of gap in relationships can be filled again with affection just with sincere and humble apology!

Yet, who delights in denying himself?

I have seen again and again how accusatory attitude, self-justification and blame-others mentality erects huge walls in relationships that can perhaps never be broken down except by apology and forgiveness.

Confessing Sins to Each Other

The Lord Jesus precisely taught on the importance of confessing our sin to the offended person. He said, “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift” (Matt. 5:23-24).

How can reconciliation happen without confession and apology? Remember, reconciliation does not happen automatically. We have to take initiation to make restitution. It is not time that heals but apology.

The Holy Scripture exhorts, “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed” (James 5:16). How easy it is to ask forgiveness to God but difficult to confess our sins to each other!

God commands us not only to seek His forgiveness but also to apologize to those whom we have offended. The humility of a person is tested not just by his confession of sin to God but also by his acknowledgment of sin before people.

Do we practice confessing our sins to each other?

It seems many of us are busy either impressing each other or accusing one another. There are so many living with their families, friends, colleagues, neighbors and church without ever apologizing to them! What should this speak about us—that we are most perfect or most arrogant?

Take note of this—lack of apologizing attitude feeds pride but asking apology cultivates humility.

Let us humble ourselves and practice apology, both before God and offended ones, for this is how we obey the word which admonishes, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men” (Heb. 12:14).

When Did I Last Apologize?

Evan Roberts, the renowned Welsh revivalist, is known for asking people this question, “When was the last time you apologized?”

Watchman Nee says, “If the last apology was a very long time ago, something must be wrong. It is inconceivable that one could live for years without offending someone. More likely, we have offended others without being conscious of our sins. If so, it proves that something is wrong with our conscience; it is in darkness, void of light and sensitivity.”

Therefore, before we turn our attention to some other activity, let us examine our hearts and ask ourselves this question—When was the last time I apologized? Isn't it a noble thing to go and ask apology to those who deserve it?

Related Articles:

• Admitting Flaws
  
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Admitting Flaws: An Essential Quality of an Authentic Christian Leader

Randy Alcorn, one of my most enjoyed inspirational Christian writers, was asked, "In your view, what are the qualities of an authentic Christian leader?" He answered, "He loves God with all his heart, is quick to admit his flaws, listens to his critics and doesn't dismiss them." I kept thinking about the second point he mentioned—"quick to admit his flaws."

As leaders in the responsibility of leading people, don't we find ourselves being quick to reject and to justify our flaws than quickly admit them?

Sad Example, Good Model

Few days back, I met a Christian brother who seemed to be quite embarrassed about approaching Christian leaders. He shared about confronting an old experienced preacher to gently offer a reasonable word of correction in regard to his preaching. The old preacher annoyingly responded to him, "It is not your age to correct me." Seeing his response, this brother was completely shattered, even afraid to approach any preacher the next time.

What a sad experience of this brother and a pathetic example modeled by that preacher!

In contrast to this brother's experience, I know an old preacher who is engaged in missions for more than twenty years. In my fellowship with him, many times he told me, "Stephen, I may be wrong. Please feel free to correct me." What a humbling experience to a young man like me to witness such humble models!

Regretfully, not many of us are as humble to accept correction and to admit our faults as this wonderful man of God! Think—how many people find it comfortable to approach us to offer correction? How many of us deny ourselves and humbly confess our sins?

Being Stupid, Being Honored

In my fifteen years of Christian life, I ought to honestly confess—not many Christian leaders love to accept correction and are quick to admit their flaws. They are great preachers but weak models in regard to admitting their faults. When it comes to correction and confession—some walk with a sense of loftiness as if they don't commit mistakes, some foolishly blame others, some adamantly justify themselves and some stay silent, putting on a sad facial expression.

Don't you suppose such reactions are unfit to Christian leaders who are called by the Living God to servant leadership?

Moreover, I found leaders who suppose by admitting their faults they lose their honor and respect among the people. What a deception! The book of Proverbs says, "He who hates correction is stupid" but "whoever heeds correction is honored" (12:1b; 13:18b). We are more stupid when we despise correction but more honored when we heed to it. In my view, there are many great leaders who lost their honor, not because of committing faults, but because of rejecting to admit them.

Heed Correction, Humbly Confess

In writing this, I am not saying I find it easy to accept correction and always admit my faults. I find admitting my flaws more hurting to my ego. There were numerous times where I justified myself and acted stupidly. Nevertheless, the Lord seriously dealt with my heart. He still does His painful surgery on my arrogant heart. Because of the gracious work of the Holy Spirit in me, I am learning to sincerely admit my faults and to accept correction, even from my little kids. O, I am finding it a great blessing in my life and ministry!

Dear Christian leaders—we may be great preachers, having a great passion, possessing great talents, doing great ministry—but all these are nothing when there is no essential quality of humility to heed correction and to humbly confess our flaws. May we pray and allow God to humble us for His glory, honor and praise!

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Note: Not every correction may be valid. However, we need to humbly consider the correction given to us, honestly examine our heart and then gently respond with appropriate answer.

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Good, But Not Humble

Lately, I have been thinking about the term “good”. It has become quite common these days to say, “She is good” or “He is good”. If someone speaks of us as a good person, it does make us feel good, right? However, I came to realize that I should not settle with being good. I need to purse, pray and excel in the most excellent virtue. What is it?

If I ask myself, “Out of all the people I know who I think are good, can I testify they are also humble?” To be honest, I can’t. Perhaps, out of 100% of the people I know whom I call ‘good’, I wonder whether I would be able to testify at least 5% among them as humble. The term ‘good’ has become such an ordinary word, even often loosely used, we attribute that to anyone who may appear ‘nice’, at least in appearance. But the term ‘humble’ cannot be that easily applied to anybody, for it is the most excellent virtue.

How thoughtful we become when it comes to call someone a humble person! How difficult it is to testify about others, even the good we suppose, as being humble! And how difficult it maybe for others too to consider us as a humble person! What do people think about us - good or even humble? What do we want to become - just good or eager to live a life of humility?

When Ravi Zacharias was interviewed about his ministry, he was asked, “What have you learned in this struggle about building a good team?” Ravi answered, “First and most important characteristic in every team member is humility.” His response is astounding. Since his is an apologetics ministry, reaching the intellectuals, one may expect his answer to have just a bunch of brilliants and speakers to build a good team.

I think Ravi well understood the point James made, “Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom” (Jas. 3:13). Ravi ends his answer with these words, “If I had to do it all over again, I would start looking slower in building a team, and I would do it with a person whose first characteristic to me was that of humility.” After going through failures, I have learned this lesson too in my ministry. It is not easy to find humble people and it is even more difficult to learn humility.

Jerry Bridges writes, “The two Christian character traits taught most frequently in the New Testament are love and humility.” Therefore, should we not make these virtues our highest priority to pursue?

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