God Doesn't Love Me.....

You did not misread. You read it right. I say again, "God doesn’t love me….."

When I think, if God really loves me, He will give me everything I ask for, then God doesn’t love me…..

When I think, if God truly loves me, He will not let me face suffering, then God doesn’t love me…..

When I think, if God really loves me, He will not rebuke me for cherishing sin, then God doesn’t love me…..

When I think, if God truly loves me, He will always immediately come for my rescue from troubles, then God doesn’t love me…..

When I think, if God really loves me, He will bless me with all the comforts of life, then God doesn’t love me…..

When I think, if God truly loves me, He will not discipline me, then God doesn’t love me…..

When I think, if God really loves me, He simply accepts me as I am with all my weaknesses and being happy with as I am, then God doesn’t love me…..

This is what I want to say—GOD DOESN’T LOVE ME ACCORDING TO MY TERMS AND EXPECTATIONS.

Many create their own opinions about how God should treat them if He really loves them, and then when He doesn’t meet their expectations, they question, “Does God love me? Does He care for me?” I say to them, “Yes, God doesn’t love you . . . He doesn’t love you according to your own terms and expectations.”

One of the biggest problems I see in us is this—we don’t want to allow God to be God. Nevertheless, if we desire to know God, we have to open ourselves to understand Him the way He revealed Himself to us in His word. God is love but the manifestation of His love isn’t always according to our expectations. God doesn't love us according to our will; He loves us according to His will.

This is what I have learned in my more than eighteen years of Christian life—the love of God is exhilarating and indescribable, and even hurting and incomprehensible. 

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God did not just say, “Ask and it will be given to you”; He also said, “If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (Matt. 7:7; John 15:7). When we abide in God and His word abide in us, do we not ask according to His will, not according to our whim?


Many try to claim the promises of God without an abiding relationship with Him and without an obedient heart to His word. And when those promises are not fulfilled in them, they question, “Does God really love me?” God’s promises are not for those who live to gratify their selfishness. It is for those who seek to crucify their selfishness to walk in godliness.

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The Lord nowhere said, “If you follow me, you will have no suffering in life.” In fact, He precisely said, “In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world” (John 16:33). The apostles cautioned, “through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22). 

Suffering has a special purpose in a Christian’s life. The Scripture says that it is through various kinds of suffering that our faith is tested, producing patience and maturity in life (James 1:2-4). In other words—no adversity, no maturity. God loves us to become mature and He has to allow us to walk through suffering. There is both joy and pain in Christian life.

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The Lord said to the Laodicean church, “Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent” (Rev. 3:19). Rebuke and discipline are the signs of God’s love for us in leading us to repentance. God’s love doesn’t spoil us in sin; His love sanctifies us from sin.

When we don’t repent of our sins, God has to bring a rod of discipline in our lives, leading us to repentance. This is a most painful experience to go through. For this reason, it is written, “For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it” (Heb. 12:11).

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God did not teach us to pray for luxuries, but for our daily bread (Matt. 6:11). He did not encourage us to seek earthly comforts, but earthly contentment. It is written, "But godliness with contentment is great gain, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world. But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content" (1 Tim. 6:6-8).

Yet God did say about His kingdom and it is by seeking His kingdom that all our needs are met (Matt. 6:33). He also mentioned about heavenly riches and motivated us to seek them. And these heavenly riches are stored for us not by gaining riches on earth for ourselves but by giving them away to the needy (Luke 12:32-34). God's love encourages us to seek generosity with earthly goods, not earthly prosperity. 

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Yes, God does accept us as we are, with all our sins and weaknesses. But that’s not the end. When I see my child fallen in the mire of mud, I do accept him as he is. But what do I do later? I will make sure that he becomes clean from the dirt and stay neat.

Sadly, many just relish the idea of God accepting them as they are without any passion for godliness. They do all kinds of sins and rejoice saying, "God loves me as I am. He doesn't judge me. Hallelujah." No broken-heart over sin. No passion for holiness. They are happily deceived into thinking that God loves them as they are without seeking to obey the Scripture which says, “be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Eph. 5:1).

God does accept us as we are, not to remain as we are, but to become as He is. God accepts sinners to become saints, not to remain as sinners. He accepts me as I am, not to make me feel good, but to help me live godly. The purpose of God in choosing and accepting us as we are is to conform us to the image of Christ Jesus (Rom. 8:29).
 

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Finally, I am glad God loves me not according to my terms and expectations. He loves me the way He revealed Himself to me in His word. His love hurts me at times, but I know it never harms me. His love doesn't please my 'self', but it does builds my life. How great is His love! Blessed be His Name.

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When Can We Truly Love One Another? [Part 2]

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Motivation of Christ’s Love to Love One Another

Christ said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” The second thought I would like to dwell upon is this—Christ’s love for us is the true and pure motivation for us to love another.

We can never truly love others if we love them because they are good and nice with us. We can never truly love others if we love them because they love us. We can never truly love others if we love them for our own security and satisfaction.

He who loves others because he receives love from them cannot love them for a long time, for when he stops receiving love from others he stops loving them.

We can truly love others when our love for others is motivated by God’s love for us. We can do more for others when we know how Christ loved us more than anyone could ever love us.

The love of Christ is our only motivation to love selflessly, joyfully and patiently.

That is why the Scripture says, “Be merciful just as your Father is merciful” (Matt. 5:48). Those who taste the mercy of God are motivated to show mercy to others.

The mercy of our heavenly Father is the motivation for us to show mercy to others. 

That is why the Scripture says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Eph. 4:32). Those who know God’s abundant forgiveness for the great sins we have committed against Him are motivated to kindly forgive others.

The forgiveness of the Father is the motivation for us to forgive others.

That is why the Scripture says, “Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus” (Phi. 2:4-5). Those who understand how much Christ is concerned for us and gave up His glorious privileges for our eternal welfare—they are motivated to have concern for the welfare of others by denying self.

Christ’s sacrificial service to us is the motivation for us to selflessly serve others.

That is why the Scripture says, “Love each other as I have loved you” (Jn. 15:12). Those who experience Christ’s love for us are motivated to love one another.

Do we understand now how Paul could write these words, "For Christ's love compels us"? (2 Cor. 5:14) The great motivation we have to love and serve one another is Christ’s love for us.

If not for His love, we have no reason to love one another. After all, why should we love one another when we the sinful and selfish creatures often seek our own advantage and hurt each other to get our own way?

Mark these words—we find no reason to love each other, for there is no good in us. The only reason we find to love one another is that Christ, who is all good, loves evil people like us and conforms us to His goodness.

Therefore, in view of God's love for us, let us not be disappointed to love one another because God is not disappointed to love us. Let us not fear to take risk to love each other because God took risk in loving us.

Let us not give up on loving one another, because God doesn’t give up on loving us. Let us not be apprehensive to love each other because of weaknesses, for God loves us in spite of our imperfections.

How good, beneficial and inspiring it is to keep the love of Christ always before us in loving one another! Christ Jesus is our tremendous inspiration to obey His command—love one other.

So, when can we truly love each other? When we find our continuous satisfaction in Christ’s love, when we unceasingly see Christ’s love as our motivation, only then would we be able to truly love one another. [Click here to go to Part 1 of this article] | 2 of 2

Related Articles:

• Did the Lord Jesus Command to Love Oneself?

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When Can We Truly Love One Another? [Part 1]

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Note: This article is divided into two parts. I request the readers to study this material in its entirety in order to get a proper overview of my presentation.

We all know—it is easy and natural to love money, comforts, cars, possessions, ourself, even animals, but to love one another is the most difficult act to do.

We are aware that loving others involves risk. We may have to experience hurt and ungratefulness. We may have to face conflicts. We may have to make personal sacrifice.

However painful, we cannot excuse ourselves from our obedience to God’s word which commands us to love one another. Of course, we may not love every person in the world, but we are called to love those to whom God connects us, particularly as a local church.

How can we love each other when it seems almost beyond our ability to do so?

The answer to our bewilderment lies in John 13:34, "A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” From this Christ’s command to His disciples, there are two things we observe about how it is possible to love one another.

Satisfaction in Christ's Love for Us 

Let me dwell on the first thought. Christ said, “As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” To love one another we need to first understand the fact of Christ’s unconditional and infinite love for us.

We can only love each other when we are completely satisfied in Christ’s love for us. We cannot love one another, which require self-sacrifice on our part, if we do not find satisfaction in Christ’s sacrificial love for us.

How is it possible to love one another? Because of Christ Jesus who manifested His love for us on the cross to save us from sin unto Himself, thus inviting us to find salvation and satisfaction in Him. When our inner emptiness, longing and dissatisfaction finds its fulfillment in the love of Christ, we would in a position to selflessly love others.

Many of us confess with our mouth “God loves me so much”, but deep in our hearts we still feel unloved and expect love from selfish creatures. What can a selfish person give to another selfish person? It is in vain to expect love from people who themselves are craving for love.

Of course, God does show us His love through His children. But we need to know that they cannot love to the fullest—infinitely and flawlessly. Only in Christ Jesus, particularly on the cross, God manifested His infinite love for us. People's love is only but a shadow. For this reason, he who focuses on getting love from others is disappointed to love them, for no human being can absolutely satisfy the heart which is in the poverty of love.

To gratify his longing heart, the one who seeks love from others remains discontented and disgruntled, and thus cannot be in a position to give and share love with others. Is it any wonder why so many families, friendships and fellowships are broken because of seeking love from each other with a dissatisfied heart?

In my years of studying the Holy Bible, I didn’t find a single exhortation in the Scripture that encourages us to seek love from each other. Yet our human tendency is to use Scripture as a ladder to get what we want from others than view it as an altar on which we lay our lives and selflessly serve others.

Take note of this—we are only commanded to love one another.

And the Scripture is bold enough to exhort us to love another because Christ is the fountain of love in whom we quench the thirst of our lonely and restless heart, thereby becoming a channel of love to others. 

No matter how much love we may receive from people, even from each other, we need to enjoy their affection by finding our heart’s satisfaction in Christ alone. Or else, if we start idolizing people’s love for us, we will not only put more emotional pressure on them to love us, but also get disappointed to love them when they don't satisfy our deepest and continuous longing for love.

Remember, people’s hearts are broken cisterns that cannot hold water. Only in Christ we find the spring of living water (Jer. 2:13). For this reason, we need to understand the love of Christ. We need to “grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God” (Eph. 1:18-19).

Since our heart continuously seeks love, only the infinite love of Christ is lavish enough to satisfy our insatiable hunger for love and affection.

Never think, "Nobody loves me." Even if the whole world loves you it is still but a drop in the ocean of Christ's infinite love for you.

Therefore, as we find the love we have been seeking in Christ, let us share our love with one another out of our overflowing joy and satisfaction in God. [Click here to go to Part 2 of this article...] |  1 of 2

Did Jesus Command to Love Oneself?

If you ask the personality developers, motivational speakers and many counselors of our time, "What is the important commandment of life?" many would perhaps say, "Love yourself".

The Most Important Commandment

When Jesus was asked, "What is the most important commandment?", He didn’t say, "Love yourself." Instead, He said, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these" (Mark 12:30-31).

It is worth noting the ending words of verse 31: "There is no commandment greater than these." The most important and joyful thing on the face of the earth is to love God with our whole being, the Maker of the heavens and the earth. And in loving Him, love our neighbour as ourself.

'Love Yourself' or 'As Yourself'

Now many suppose that Jesus gave a command here to 'love oneself.' It is surprising to see how 'self-love' has become a matter of paramount importance in our day. Even many Christian writers and teachers advocate this, erecting it as a third commandment. However, the grammar doesn’t suggest such a notion. To do so is to impose one’s thought upon the text than allowing the text to speak for itself.

The words 'love yourself' can be a command, but 'as yourself' is simply an acknowledged fact. Jesus didn't say, "Love yourself", but "Love your neighbour as yourself." In others word, "You love yourself, right? Okay. Then love your neighbour as well. Just as you love yourself, so also love your neighbour. Add to the love of self, which you already have, your love of neighbour."¹ John Piper suitably articulates what Jesus is saying in effect:

I start with your inborn, deep, defining human trait—your love for yourself. This is a given. I don't command it; I assume it. All of you have a powerful instinct of self-preservation and self-fulfillment. You all want to be happy. You all want to live and to live with satisfaction. You want food for yourself. You want clothes for yourself. You want a place to live for yourself. You want protection from violence against yourself. You want meaningful or pleasant activity to fill your days. You want some friends to like you and spend some time with you. You want your life to count in some way. All this is self-love. Self-love is the deep longing to diminish pain and to increase happiness. That's what Jesus starts with when he says, "as yourself."²

God's Order of Love

Of course, there is an implication of loving oneself but that’s not the focus of Jesus’ commandment. It is not good to stretch too much that which was not a predominant thought.

I comply with John Stott (1921-2011), "God’s order is that we put Him first, others next, self last. Sin is the reversal of the order. It is to put ourselves first, our neighbour next, and God somewhere in the background."³ Don’t we see this is what many are propagating—to love oneself as a prerequisite to loving God and loving neighbour?

Unlike many psychologists today, Jesus believed that man generally loves himself. Man's problem is not that he doesn’t love himself but that he loves himself too much. Honestly, when I look into my heart in the light of Holy Spirit, my greatest problem is that I overly love myself; and my greatest struggle is to love God and others. Günther Bornkamm is right when he says, "We are most skilled in the love of ourselves; whether in selfish passion or in cool reflection, whether prompted by blind instinct or by some ideal, we desire our own self."⁴

From Self to Unself

The fact that man struggles for attention, acceptance and appreciation shows how much he loves himself and got obsessed with a focus on his self. Even those who hate themselves may do so out of love for themselves, for they cannot see themselves let down. The reason why man is miserable today is simply because of his engrossment in self. So remedy is not self-love, but to love God with his whole heart and then his neighbour. Martin Luther actually viewed loving God and loving others as a cure for self-love.⁵

One major problem with the self-esteem movement—because of too much focus on self-esteem, it has produced a bunch of narcissists, although this may not be its intended fruit. It has pathetically reaped 'Me-Generation' and 'Self-obsessed Society'. What man needs is a radical change of nature, what Professor H.M. Gwatkin called "a change from self to unself."⁶ In saying this, I am neither endorsing self-hatred nor condemning healthy love of oneself. My point is not to become self-absorbed but to stay focussed on what Jesus said—love God and love others.

Self-Denial is Not the Goal

Besides, let none suppose self-denial is the goal of life. Not at all! Whether delight or denial, self is not the central issue. C.S. Lewis captured it right: "The New Testament has lots to say about self-denial, but not about self-denial as an end in itself. We are told to deny ourselves and to take up our crosses in order that we may follow Christ."⁷ Therefore, the purpose of self-denial is to release ourself to God so that He would continuously reveal Himself to us, sanctify us and use us to be a blessing to others for His glory. And in living this way, we would find pure joy in Christ Jesus.

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Notes:
[1] Nicholas Wolterstorff, Justice: Rights and Wrongs (Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press, 2008), pg. 209
[2] John Piper, What Jesus Demands from the World (Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books, 2006), pg. 257
[3] John Stott, Basic Christianity (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2008), pg. 95
[4] Günther Bornkamm, Jesus of Nazareth (New York: Harper & Row, 1960), pg. 113
[5] Henning Graf Reventlow, History of Biblical Interpretation, Vol. 3 (Atlanta, GA: Society of Biblical Literature, 2010), pg. 85
[6] Cited by John Stott, Basic Christianity (Grand Rapids, MI: Wm. B. Eerdmans Publishing Co., 2008), pg. 97
[7] C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory and Other Addresses (Grand Rapids, MI: William B. Eerdmans), pg. 2

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The Sin of Self-Protection

Dr. Larry Crabb is one of the highly respected counselors of our day, writing extensively on the core issues of man’s needs and guiding many to find satisfaction in their Maker. He is an author who won my eyes, whose books I blindly recommend to read.

Recently, I was reading a portion, from his well-written book, Inside Out. In this Gold Medallion Award-winning classic, he writes, “not everyone is involved in flagrant sin.” Many Christians do not commit horrible sins as such. They basically live honorable and decent lives. But as good as they maybe, there is a sin in which they easily fall and remain unaware of its disastrous work, which Larry calls, “The Sin of Self-Protection.”

What does it mean?

It certainly does not mean protecting oneself from physical assault. Larry describes, “The sin of self-protection to which I refer occurs when our legitimate thirst for receiving love creates a demand to not be hurt that overrides a commitment to lovingly involve ourself with others.” I cannot help myself but agree with Larry’s comment. How that demand for self-protection, that overly preoccupation with oneself to not be hurt by others, hinders people from moving toward others with their well-being in view, thus violating the law of love!

I have seen people (not excluding myself) how good they are in being passionate for God, for His Word, for Truth, for His Kingdom, but at the same time, how poor they are in interpersonal relationships! They are good in talking with God and about God but weak in walking with people. Their good life is not that good enough to get along with others. They shine brighter from afar, when people are good to them, but become darker when facing interpersonal conflicts.

Larry makes the right point, “It seems that when people live blameless lives in terms of the first category of sin (visible transgressions of known standards) and when their way of coming across is apparently commendable (humble, gracious), we’re inclined to wrongly think that sin is no longer a current problem for them, except perhaps for normal temptations with such things as lust. But (regrettably) understanding the second category of sin opens up new doors to dark rooms.”

What is that second category of sin, with which people subtly clothe themselves, living in dark rooms?

• It is self-protection.
• It is dissolving from resolving conflicts in relationships.
• It is being hypersensitive, too easily upset by criticism and disagreement, leading to bitterness.
• It is becoming frustrated for not getting the attention we think we deserve.
• It is burying hurtful feelings and living non-transparent lives.
• It is side-stepping rejection.
• It is relating to one another with the hidden purpose of maintaining our comfort and avoiding whatever sort of interaction we find threatening.
• It is being more concerned with how we feel and less concerned with the lives of others.
• It is being clothed with ‘nice’ conduct, not with an intent to glorify God and to do good to others, but to protect ourself from further frustration of our longings to be respected and loved.
• It is having the top priority of one’s own protection from the possibilities of pain in relationships.
• It is getting depressed for not getting the approval from people to feel one's own significance.
• It is becoming angry when people fail to care about us as they should.
• It is developing bitterness when people don’t respond to our demands.
• It is justifying ourself to conceal sins and mistakes.
• It is clinging to our "right" to protect ourself.
• It is being a slave to self-concern, allowing self-protection to govern what we say, how we say it and to whom.

These above descriptions of self-protection may not fall into the category of terrible sins, but who can deny the damage these little foxes do to the entire relationships! How many decent people are miserably suffering, even causing suffering to others, for being committed to self-protection! May our sincere desire be to find deliverance from these little, hidden evils and live a purposeful life for the glory of our Creator and for the blessing of His creation.

Everything said (although briefly), but what is the antidote?

It is possible to change our behavior without ever changing our attitude. So Larry exhorts that we need to first change our mind about the best way to deal with our thirsty soul. Genuine change comes from within (inside) and affects without (outside). Nevertheless, it is not easy to recognize, get exposed, admit and give up our commitment to self-protection. As Larry puts it, “Change from the inside out requires that we take a disturbing look at the ugly parts of our soul.” To use a strong word, it is 'excruciating'. We have to face the inevitable tough battle with ourself. Larry explains this struggle, “We resist giving up our self-protective commitment with the desperate strength of a man fighting for his life. To move toward life without self-protection feels like suicide.” In spite of its difficulty, may we recognize and repent of our self-protective commitment.

Secondly, we should stop looking in the wrong places for the relief our soul desires so badly. Let us understand that our thirsty soul finds its security and satisfaction only in the Creator, not in created things. To find deliverance, we are supposed to come to God in our thirst by abandoning our commitment to self-protection. We should turn to God who wants us to trust His love enough to freely love others, not to protect our longing from further injury. We need to stop digging for water (security and satisfaction) in our relationships and drink the living water from the infinite fountain, our Lord Jesus Christ, and share that amazing love with others. What God said to the people of Israel then is still relevant to the people now, "My people have committed two sins: They have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water” (Jer. 2:13).

Says Larry, “When thirst is acknowledged and self-protection is unmasked, then trust in Christ can become more profound and repentance more complete. We can trust Him more when we know how badly we need what only He can provide.” Yes, let us confess our nakedness, our thirst, our hungers, our emptiness, our despair and seek fulfillment from our Maker, the emotional and physical contentment which only He can provide.

Let me close with my personal reflection in Christ - As much as it is exhilarating to experience the love of God through people so much it is exhausting and disappointing to seek love from people. To enjoy life on earth, seek love only from God and share only His love with others.

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Note:Larry Crabb, Inside Out (Colorado Springs, Colorado: Navpress, 1988)

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Spiritual Maturity

“And now I will show you the most excellent way” (1 Cor. 12:31).

Ever since I became a Christian, I often heard five important steps on how to grow in spiritual life. It has been emphasized that this is how one can excel towards spiritual maturity. The five steps are – prayer, bible study, church fellowship, tithing and witnessing. However, it was later I happened to learn that one could practice all these things and yet live an unspiritual and immature life. As important as they are, nowhere in the Holy Scripture do we find that these are the signs of spiritual maturity. What then is the sign of spiritual maturity?

The Important Ingredient
These days the Lord has been drawing my attention to ponder over the most significant ingredient of my life and ministry. It is something without which I cannot become spiritually mature. He has shown me how greatly I am missing and neglecting it in my life. I was convicted that my Christian life is shallow, my spirituality is a sham, my preaching is dead and my ministry is unproductive without excelling in this exceptional virtue. Indeed, I was enlightened to the fact that I cannot be a true disciple of Christ Jesus without this most important thing. What is it?

What I am sharing is not something new or mysterious. Almost everyone knows its importance and yet fail to live accordingly. It is something that is spoken and written about much but practiced and exemplified least. Now then, what do you think Paul would have answered if he were asked, “How to become a person of spiritual maturity?” He wrote to the Corinthians, “And now I will show you the most excellent way” (1 Cor. 12:31). What is the most excellent way to excel in spiritual life? It is LOVE. The Lord spoke to my heart that without love I can neither live a Christian life nor can I serve Him in His way. I have learned that I must not only be emphatic on God’s love towards me but also on my love toward others. I am reminded of the words of Paul in 1 Corinthians 13 which describes the most excellent way of towards spiritual maturity. It is written:

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing (1 Corinthians 13:1-3).

It is truly astounding to read what Paul wrote in the above Scripture, revealing what true spirituality is all about. I would certainly be amazed to hear someone speaking in the languages of men and angels. I would be moved in my spirit to hear someone prophesying. I would be fascinated to know a person who is full of knowledge and insights. I would be awed to see someone having faith that can move mountains. I would be greatly impressed to witness someone giving all he possesses to the poor. Well, these are spectacular deeds and any normal person would ascribe them to spiritual maturity. Yet Paul says that all these things are nothing and worthless without love.

I have observed that it is terrifyingly possible to perform amazing miracles, to prophesy accurately, pray fervently, preach and teach effectively, endure suffering, to work diligently, have strong faith, do good works and yet lack love, which writes me off still as spiritually immature. I may even possess great theological and practical knowledge but what does it profit if I do not have love. It is written, “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up” (1 Cor. 8:1). When the Holy Bible exhorts to “speak the truth in love” (Eph. 4:15), how easy it is to passionately speak the truth, counter false teachings, answer tough questions and get puffed up without any love and concern for people!

An illiterate and unskillful person with love is much better than the most literate and genius without love. How deceptive it is to have a great reputation of being spiritually mature before others while being spiritually barren before God! A person who has the fruit of love is well pleased before God than the most gifted person. The impact of a loving person is much more fruitful and unforgettable than an ingenious person.

Description of Love
I have witnessed many times how quickly I can be deceived presuming myself to be loving towards others while neglecting to manifest its characteristics in my life. Having a good feeling toward others does not necessarily mean I am a loving person. Good works can also be done out of duty or pity than with genuine love. Disciplining others can be practiced out of fretful spirit than with a loving heart.

Moreover, I can even be a principle-centered and ethical person without any love. Anyone who claims to be loving must examine himself against the description presented by Paul in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. This is the criterion by which spiritual maturity is measured.

Love is patient, i.e. it endures the weaknesses and differences of others.
Love is kind, i.e. it is tender and compassionate toward others.
Love does not envy, i.e. it is not jealous if someone is better but rejoices at the success of others.
Love does not boast, i.e. it is not pompous in its talk or boastful to give an appearance of ‘greatness’ but rather seeks to walk in humility.
Love is not proud, i.e. it does not consider itself better than others but rather honors others above itself.
Love is not rude, i.e. it is not harsh in its attitude, speech and behavior with others but rather gentle and gracious. It is mild and not wild. It is hard but not harsh, tough but not rough, strong but does no wrong.
Love is not self-seeking, i.e. it does not seek its own benefit alone in everything but rather concerns itself with being a blessing to others.
Love is not easily angered, i.e. it is not hot-tempered, short-tempered or reacts suddenly in an unpleasant manner but rather responds with patience.
Love keeps no record of wrongs, i.e. it does not harbor bitterness by reflecting on the hurt given by others but rather forgives them.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth, i.e. it does not compromise with sin and evil ways but always encourages, corrects and leads others in the path of truth.
Love always protects, i.e. it covers the sins of others and does not give itself to wayward gossip.
Love always trusts, i.e. it does not subject itself to foolish assumptions and false witnesses but rather trusts that which is true about others.
Love always hopes, i.e. it is not critical about others but rather hopes the best for them.
Love always perseveres, i.e. bears up the injuries of the heart caused by others without any retaliation.
Love never fails, i.e. it neither gives up nor does it end.

Honestly admitting, it is humanly impossible to live according to the above traits of love, yet with God nothing is impossible. He is able to conform us into His image if we allow Him to transform our lives. Paul exhorted, above all else, to eagerly desire this love in our lives (1 Cor. 12:31). Am I earnestly seeking to be filled with God’s love in my life? Am I desperately praying and making every effort to love others? Do I love others as much as I expect them to love me? Am I confessing my sin of unloving heart? “O Lord teach me to love others as you love me!”

Penetrating Truth
As I contemplated on the splendor of love, I realized that love is not the priority of my life. I was passionate to do great things but not eager to love people. I was asking God to bless me, to fill me with His power and to use me mightily in His service but did not pray fervently to be filled with His love. I questioned myself, “What is my life and ministry if it is not built on love?” It is nothing and gains nothing. I would rather have love and have nothing than have everything and have not love.

I have keenly observed the difference between loving 'ministry’ and loving 'people’. Now I am learning, even though I am far from living up to its perfection, that living a Christian life and doing ministry is just loving people and serving them. I don’t want to do a ‘great’ ministry but a ‘loving’ ministry. Is this not what ministry is all about? Three times Jesus said to Peter, “If you truly love me then take care of my sheep” (John 20:15-17). In other words, “If you truly love me then love my people.” How hypocritical it is to do ministry without having love for the people!

I stood in awe when I read few Scriptures that pierced my heart. I may claim to believe in Christ; I may appear as a prominent person and known well for my achievements; I may claim to be a child and a servant of God; I may preach and teach mightily with excellent knowledge; I may claim to know God; I may have all the theological degrees and possess astounding knowledge about the doctrines of the Holy Bible; I may claim to have great experience in the ministry - yet if I do not have love, the Holy Scripture reveals seven penetrating facts just in one epistle.

a) If I do not love my brother and hate him, I am still in the darkness. It is written in 1 John 2:9-11:

Anyone who claims to be in the light but hates his brother is still in the darkness. Whoever loves his brother lives in the light, and there is nothing in him to make him stumble. But whoever hates his brother is in the darkness and walks around in the darkness; he does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded him.

b) If I do not love my brother, my prayers are ineffective. It is written in 1 John 3:21-23:

We have confidence before God and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us.

c) If I do not love my brother, I am not a child of God. It is written in 1 John 3:10:

This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.

d) If I do not love my brother, I am not born of God. It is written in 1 John 4:7:

Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.

e) If I do not love my brother, I do not know God. It is written in 1 John 4:8:

Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

f) If I do not love my brother, I do not live in God and God in me. It is written in 1 John 4:16:

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

g) If I hate my brother rather than love him, I remain in death and do not have eternal life. It is written in 1 John 3:14-15:

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death.
Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, let us stop hating and backbiting each other and start loving and help one another. Life is not about two perfect people walking together; it is about two imperfect people getting along together, encouraging, adjusting and helping each other on the way towards perfection. Paul warned the Galatians, “The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other” (5:14-16).

Mark of Christ’s Disciples
Well, I share this message with a broken heart. I know I cannot be a friend of Christ if I do not possess love. Jesus said, “You are my friends if you do what I command” (Jn. 15:14). What is His command? It is written, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you” (Jn. 15:12).

I feel ashamed of my unloving life and am grateful to God for allowing me to see myself in His light so that I can become what He wants me to be. I may still fail many times in loving people but I trust in God’s ability to make me a person filled with His love. We don’t become a loving person overnight but blessed are those who hunger and thirst for love for they shall be completely filled and satisfied.

Jesus commanded His disciples in John 13:34-35, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, IF you love one another". The disciples of Christ Jesus are known not primarily by their appearance, knowledge, rituals, doctrines, preaching, skills and feats but by their LOVE for one another. Don’t we feel that great lack of love between one another? No doubt, I suppose, even the world feels that lack of love between one another among the professed disciples of Christ.

All of us are familiar with John 3:16 but most of us are ignorant about 1 John 3:16, “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.” Wonderful! John 3:16 speaks to us that Christ laid His life for us and 1 John 3:16 exhorts us that we have to lay our lives for our brothers.

The reason we are supposed to love our fellow brothers is because Christ loves us and laid His life for undeserving people like us. The major cause for us to fail in loving others is that we try to love them because of who they are rather than as a response to God’s love for us. May we repent of our sin and learn to walk and grow in LOVE for each other. Life is worthless without Christ’s love flowing in and through us.

“O Lord, have mercy on me and help me to know you and share about you by enabling me to walk in love!”

Contact: friendsofchrist@gmail.com